Gender Studies in Real Life
Throughout this course, our unit on toxic masculinity proved to have the most real-world applications for me. Although I had often heard sexist/uncomfortable jokes and comments, I didn’t say something about them as often as I would now. I feel like this class made me realize the repercussions of sexist comments (like jokes turning into internalized misogyny, which can then turn into assault in extreme cases), and that made me feel like it was more urgent to speak up about these discomforting comments.
Towards the beginning of the year, I remember walking back from Gender Studies holding my bright pink course packet. “Jokingly,” someone grabbed the packet and said, “Why do you need such a huge course packet if there’s only two genders?” At that time, I didn’t say anything for some reason. I didn’t really support the joke or condemn, I just kind of ignored it and we moved on with the conversation. I think back to why I didn’t say anything, and I think it’s because I knew the joke was wrong, and probably wanted to say something, but I simply didn’t know what I would say.
This experience made me realize the value of education while trying to promote a culture without these sexist jokes. This was also something that we talked about in our podcast on these jokes and toxic masculinity. If everyone was required to take a gender studies class like this one, they would 1. Be more knowledgeable of the different types of gender identities and how to respect everyone and 2. Be exposed to powerful stories from people of different identities that could help them empathize and act more respectfully as an automatic reaction.
Later in the year, of course, I heard the joke again. People will make jokes like this until someone tells them to stop, even if it’s not funny. This time, the joke had some variation in that the person said something like, “This course should only be two days long.” But this time, I said something. Still in a friendly way, I basically said that he shouldn’t say things like that even as a joke since a lot of people struggle with their identity if it’s not in the binary and are punished for it. I feel like I was still able to keep the environment light-hearted, which proved to be important since he might not have been as receptive if I was extremely serious to him about it. Still with a smile on his face, he apologized, and honestly I never heard the joke again.
It’s possible that actions like these might not actually reduce sexist comments made at Uni. After all, people could just stop making these kinds of jokes to you, but continue to their other friends. Still, I think stepping up is important, because at least you’re reducing the spread of the joke by at least a little bit.
I relate to the feeling of wanting to speak up but not knowing what to say. I run into this issue with other insensitive comments that people make about topics other than gender and don't always know how to convey that what someone is saying makes me uncomfortable or is offensive. I agree though that there is a lot of power in knowledge that makes it easier to speak up in situations where it is necessary.
ReplyDeleteI think that talking to people about the jokes they make can genuinely reduce sexist comments made at Uni, especially if more and more people start having these conversations. If one person comments on a joke and then the joke gets made to a different person and that person also makes a comment about it then I think the person would probably stop making the joke. I also see the side of this where stopping these comments is treating the symptoms rather than the deeper problem but that just means that there should be more in-depth education and long-term social reform on top of correcting people on their jokes.
ReplyDeleteI've definitely had situations like the one you mentioned at the beginning of your post, where you didn't say anything because you didn't know how to word what you wanted to say. I think it's really important to tell people when they're making insensitive jokes, even if it could "ruin" the mood or something which does not have nearly the same impact as a joke can, especially if it's passed along and normalized. And knowing what to say and having knowledge behind your words can definitely help when confronting people or stepping up during these types of situations.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I also found myself being more aware of the sexist and harmful things I've heard Uni students saying after this semester, specifically after the toxic masculinity unit. I also realized that before I really knew what gender studies was about I had also been influenced by a lot of classmates who looked upon this class with. I'm glad to you and I were able to walk out of this semester being able to look at people, things, and situations from a different angle and broader mindset. Stepping up and responding to these jokes is also very important, and even if it doesn't stop the problem it definetely helps. One less harmful joke is one less person potentially being hurt or feeling uncomfortable.
ReplyDelete